sixtoeight

So busy with work and school stuff that I have not been online!

My goodness, and i gained three ponds back- meaning I am back at the same weight I was when I started!

I think I am going to just start the WW thing again, as it is far too complicated to do the combinations of diet ideas I was using.

I am not discouraged though, I have a major goa/incentive plan- and I want to lose 20 pounds by may 20. I can do that.

I am feeling pretty bloated today, and exhausted- that is when I usually give up- this time I will not!

a fun way to get your exercize in is to dance. I like to do it while washing dishes and/or cooking. I use the ‘party favorites’ channel 723 on my TV to have a good time doing it. It is super fun and I lose calories like crazy.

I know my weight loss ticker looks pretty dismal right now but I have made a comittment to myself to get back into my summer clothes so I am dancing my ass off. I do spins and ass shakes and walk like an egyption and the running man and the lawnmower, dance like a stripper, ballet and try crazy hip hop moves. I may look pretty silly but my abs won’t when I am all through! Madonna is on right now! Must go dance!

PS: Vacuuming is also excellent exercize if you do it with energy. Works your core muscles.

I just made the BEST breakfast EVER….don’t be jealous!

I took a sm/med potato, microwaved it until JUST done, then diced it into 1/4 inch cubes and ‘pan fried’ it with olive oil spray and a smidge of curry powder, white pepper,lite salt and garlic powder. I then used 1/2 C of  liquid FORTIFIED [all the vitamins but minus the fat of whole eggs] egg white product and made a scramble with lite salt, black pepper and onion powder and topped that off with 2 TBS of roasted garlic salsa and drank 6oz 1% milk.

Lol, it is hard to combine ‘clean’ eating with WW points and ‘zone’ mapping of portions daily, managing calories/fat/carbs/protein and staying away from added salt and sugars. Some days I feel like I would be better off just eating the packaging from the food I purchase!

I need to get out and workout…anybody wanna research for and write my 10 page criminal investigations paper for me? lol

Wow. I love my life, and I have fun, but goodness!

So yesterday was pretty alright all day at work. I had oatmeal [ I like to get the packets and add too much boiling water so I can drink it- SUPER  GOOD!] and an apple and a huge orange, tons of water and then it happened.

Sitting at my desk, there is that damn drawer of candy, and as I am working on a projectI find myself eating THREE pieces. In my head, I rationalize that I chose the Three Muskateers this time, and they are the minis- not the bite or full size…but who am I kidding? I am not supposed to be eating sugars like that. I am staying away from most processed foods, trying to get clean.

After I felt bad, I had two Reeces pb cups- not out of  guilt or anything, but bc I did the same old ‘well I will just restart tomorrow” thing. Besides, my sweetheart of a GF bought me the healthiest chinese for dinner she could find. lol

So, I got home, ate my chinese, and realized I am all bloated bc ‘aunt dottie’ is coming to visit in a couple days. I hop on the scale and I lost a pound. Presumably water weight- but I realized: I could have lost like 5!!!! so I am totally all motivated to get away from my desk as often as possible and take in all that fresh air from outside on my breaks, walking.

I suppose today is just another day, but I CAN treat every day like the first day bc it is my little private world. So there! lol. And I gotta fit back into last summers clothes in a month or two- that means I gotta drop the 15 lbs of water weight and an additional 5-15 lbs. I can do this….yup yup.

funny, I had all good intentions too. There is this guy that works in my office with me and uses the drawer in my desk to house his general ’stuff’ because he does not have a permanent desk. Some of what he houses there is large bags of miniature candies, like snickers and butterfinger, and three muskateers…you get the point.

It is what he fills this huge candy container from that sits on a shelf directly across from me diagonally, and it is for everybody to share- like he is spreading cheer in the form of chocolate. I am very picky with goodies, I like only a select few, but one of my weaknesses is the reeces peanut butter cups…and he has those in there - lots of them. I find myself absentmindedly munching on anywhere from two to ten miniature candies per day.

Yesterday however, I thought- ‘hell, I don’t need to have that chocolate, I am stronger than the candy.’

Honestly? I eat fat free frozen yogurt when I am at home bc there is this really great joint up the street that is fun to get it from- but this whole chocolate at work thing is killing me. Probably where at least 20 of the extra pounds came from!

In three years I have gone from a size 10-12 at 170 lbs to a size 14 at 195 lbs. People think i look good still, but for those that remember my previous size, it is very noticeable. Summer is coming, and I never h

ave been one to run around in a bikini without shrts, even when I was a size 8, but I would love to at least wear 30-34 waist loosely in the guy’s shorts that I wear.

My gf is a full pant size smaller than me, but has great tone and shape. I look at her and I realize that body composition [genetics]and lifestyle [she has a physically active job] really matter.

This means that I need to lay off the candy- it is just a very unhealthy habit- I won’t even miss it, and go walking on my breaks now that it is not raining. Maybe even do a sports activity in my minimal spare time. Parking far away from school and work are no longer cutting it as activity! lol

As one of ‘those’ dieters who knows she shouldbe eating clean and healthy, but still tries every fad diet out there, I am breaking down and doing things the right way this time. I suppose I look okay, maybe a few pounds to lose, but I am the one on the scale, I know how my body feels, and I know what shape I am supposed to have. It is hard for an ex athlete, who did all the right things and still had fun while looking great and actually being healthy to wake up a few years later and go ‘holy fuck!’

The realization that I have permanently damaged my body is my motivator now. I am in a fantastic relationship with a wonderful person who I want to grow very old with, and this is my means of ensuring that I have a long life!

Today I scrambled egg whites for breakfast, and I am taking super healthy soup and tangerines an apple and oatmeal to work, as they have me on this crazy late in the day shift due to school. I plan on making salmon and veggies for dinner but who knows… If I can get my shift changed back early in the day [7-330] then it will be easier for me. I have a tendency to snack at my desk at work!

I am crossing my fingers and hoping the best for my day!